


Kiss of Death

by Faisalliot



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: A WEEK AGO, ACCURATE PORTRAYAL OF GRIEF, Gen, Here we go, IS BULLSHIT, Right in front of you, Rin - Freeform, Suicide, TW: Self Harm, TW: Suicide, YOU WITNESSED YOUR FATHER DIE HORRIFICALLY, alright i warned y'all, and graphic depictions of such, but ONE WEEK, do not do the reading thing, excuse me, i figured out that there is literally a one week period between Shiro's death and True Cross and, i just, like I understand plot progression, so boom, so if mentions of suicide and self harm, theres also some of my own personal headcanons mixed in here, this, trigger you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-02 06:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11503773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faisalliot/pseuds/Faisalliot
Summary: Rin Okumura might have been physically sitting on a scorched, bloodstained wooden floor, but in his mind, he was somewhere else. Izumi didn't know what the hell this kid had witnessed, but it was nothing good, and for now, it didn't matter. What mattered was the kid (God, he was just a kid) falling, shattering into pieces in his arms. He hadn't seen Rin shed a single tear in years despite wearing a face that said he was suffering and didn't know if he could handle it much longer. Why had he ignored that face until now? If you had told him just yesterday that he'd be holding that same kid, the kid that got into fist fights every day and wore a stone-cold face every day, in his arms as he fell apart, he might've laughed in your face.He sure as hell wasn't laughing now.In which Shiro dies the same horrific death, but this time, startling revelations are made.





	Kiss of Death

**Author's Note:**

> I've determined that there was only about a one week period between Shiro's death, based on Yukio's quote in the very first episode (5:28) that says "Since school starts next week and all", a quote in which was preceeded by Rin commenting on how Yukio was going to True Cross. Then, in episode two, they go to True Cross, meaning that YES, Shiro had only died a week prior to the new school year. Think about the psychological affects of watching who you consider to be your father perish horrifically in front of you. ONE WEEK LATER YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL, ALL BRIGHT AND EXUBERANT. That is BULLSHIT. 
> 
> Coping mechanisms or not, losing a loved one is the most stressful thing you can endure, not to mention that constant mistreatment and ostracization along with having your whole world and sense of normalcy completely ripped away from you is not something you can adjust to nor establish a coping mechanism in ONE WEEK. That is...literally impossible. If Rin was real, he'd have still been a fucking wreck after one week; with the coping mechanism he uses, he'd still probably need about a month to get his shit together. 
> 
> Which is why I am here, angrily writing this. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Dawn was rising. 

 _Thank Christ_. 

Izumi watched as the hoards of coal tar, hobgoblins, imps, (goddamn were those  _Hellhounds?)_ , assorted Naberius, ghouls, and other foul creatures finally began to stopper off, until only a couple stragglers feebly beat upon the wards around the church. Izumi rubbed his tired eyes, running gritty hands through dust-grayed blonde hair, grimacing at the greasy feeling. Ugh, he needed to shower as soon as possible. 

"Maruda, how're you doing over there, buddy?"

"I'm good, just as banged up as you. Has anyone seen Nagatomo?" 

"Over here." An exhausted voice called from a body strewn across a minimally damaged pew. "I am going to  _die_."

"Oh hush, you only bruised a rib." Kyodo scolded, whacking Nagatomo upside his head, making the mop of brown hair fall askew over his face. 

"It still hurts!"

"Y'know, has anyone seen Shiro?" Maruda suddenly asked, his eyebrows pushing together as his forehead creased, dark eyes peering around. "I wonder how he and Rin have fared."

"Eh, that creepy clown guy probably took both of them." Kyodo shrugged, scratching at his chin and yawning.

"Okay, but there isn't glitter everywhere," Maruda replied, barking a laugh and coughing as dust flew up into his nostrils, before laughing even harder. 

Kyodo and Nagatomo also laughed along side him, but Izumi did not. He just...couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. 

"Well," Kyodo clapped his hands together, "I'm gonna go wash up real quick and then clean up this shit," He swept a hand at the variety of rubble strewn haphazardly on the church floor. 

"Dude, count me in!" Nagatomo followed behind Kyodo, Maruda tailing close behind. "Izumi, you comin'?"

Something told him not to. "I'll just...do my rounds and see if there's anything left to fend off. I'll be there in a couple minutes."

"Aw man, look'it you, taking the initiative and crap. Nerd." Kyodo teased, patting Izumi on the shoulder. "Don't pop a vein, man."

Izumi watched the three priests trudged off to the bathroom, standing in place for a minute.  _I need to go look for Shiro._ Izumi walked down the hallway, the sound of his shoes clicking almost ominously in the all too quiet hallway. A prickle crawled up the back of his neck, and he had the inordinate urge to perhaps hit the wall or smack the end table to make some sort of noise. The silence was just....suffocating. 

_Click...click...click...._

The clicking of his shoes was almost maddening.

_Thump...Thump....Thump...._

He could hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. Why was he so afraid? He was at Shiro's bedroom door now. He lifted his hand to turn the doorknob, but it shook so much that he could barely get a grip. Good God, why were his hands shaking so much? Why was he shaking at all? His whole body was screaming at him to  _GETAWAYFROMTHEDOOR GETAWAYFROMTHEDOOR DONTGOIT DONTGOIN_ but he had to look. Taking a deep breath, he twisted the handle. The hinges let out a god-awful creak as the door listlessly swung open. Almost immediately, Izumi was hit with the overwhelming smell of blood. 

Shiro's blood.

Rin was curled up in Shiro's arms. Shiro wasn't breathing. Rin was. 

_Oh my God._

Someone was screaming. It was  _him_ screaming. 

_Shiro's dead. Shiro's fucking dead-- oh god Rin has a tail._

He heard 3 people skid to a halt behind him, Nagatomo going as far as to let out a squawk of "What the hell are you shrieking about, Izumi?!", before hearing them all gasp. Someone retched off to the side. Izumi stumbled into the room, falling to his knees next to Shiro's corpse. God, Shiro's corpse. It was horrific. There was blood oozing out of everywhere, dripping on the floor, his skin was waxy and tinted purple, his bowels had released a long time ago, he was cold to the touch, his hands were blue, the nails white, his eyes already sunken in. Shiro was no doubt dead and had been for awhile. Not to mention the way he looked. He had not died peacefully, that much was clear. He'd clearly stabbed himself in the chest, but  _why?_ He knew why; Shiro had clearly gotten possessed by _something_ , and he was trying to protect Rin. 

_Rin._

_Rin had seen the whole thing._

It felt like the breath had gotten knocked out of his lungs. Rin...Rin was still alive! The Kurikara laid on the scorched ground, the hilt sheathed, but....judging by the tail, Rin had opened it. 

_Sweet Mother Theresa, what the hell happened here?!_

The other 3 priests were murmuring and fussing in the background, shuffling nearby. Nagatomo sunk down nearby and grabbed Rin's wrist, sighing in relief at the presence of a pulse. 

"Holy shit..." Kyodo mumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. "Shiro...no...this isn't happening!" He helplessly said, grabbing his cheeks. 

"Glory, what the hell happened here?" Maruda looked around, horrified at all of the scorch marks. "Rin didn't do this, did he--"

"--DON'T YOU DARE EVEN SUGGEST THAT!" Izumi surprised himself by yelling, leveling suddenly angry eyes on Maruda. "YOU KNOW THE KID AS WELL AS I DO, YOU KNOW HE'D  _NEVER FUCKING--!"_

Izumi felt Rin begin to stir, and he cut himself short, devoting all attention to the more than likely traumatized kid that was waking up. 

"...Izumi?" Rin called out quietly, lifted a blood crusted hand to rub his eyes, eyes in which flew open at the feeling of flakes of dried blood on his cheek. "...Daddy...?" 

Izumi felt his heart crack in his chest. He leaned forward and put a hand on Rin's shoulder. 

"D-Daddy?" He called again softly, shaking Shiro. "Wake up, you old fart."

He wrapped an arm around Rin's shoulder and began to pull Rin away from Shiro's corpse. Almost immediately, Rin broke free of his sleepy stupor and flew into hysterics. 

 _"No! No! Let go of me, let go of me! Daddy!"_ His voice cracked, and he screamed with all his might as he sluggishly slapped away Izumi's offending hands. 

Rin struggled, weakly pushing away Izumi's arm and reaching out for Shiro. He stumbled forward and frantically pushed against Shiro, trying with everything he had to wake him up. But, there was no one to wake up anymore. Rin was refusing to accept that. Izumi lurched forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Rin's abdomen, struggling to yank him backward. Rin began screeching, clawing at Izumi's cheek and kicking him. He heaved for air, trembling something fierce with wide eyes. Somehow, with the help of the other priests, Izumi someone managed to pull the boy away from his father's corpse. Rin screamed and kicked, struggling arduously in his weakened state. 

"No, no! Daddy, please! Wake up! WAKE UP!" He weakly croaked, surprising Izumi by falling entirely lax.

He could hear Rin's heartbeat hammering away, and Rin lifted cold fingers to clutch at his chest. He seemed like he was struggling to get a breath in, and fleetingly Izumi thought he might actually be having a goddamn heart attack before Rin fell forward. He reached out a weak hand and put it on Shiro's too-cold, entirely limp one. Rin heaved for breath, tears angrily falling down his cheeks and splashing on the bloodstained floor. Izumi leaned down and grasped Rin's other hand, opting to just stay quiet.

"Rin, come on, please. He's  _dead_." Nagatomo bluntly said to Rin, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Izumi could've hit him. Kyodo did the job for him though, swatting Kyodo harshly on the back of the head. 

"Are you fucking _crazy?!_ Why the _hell_ would you say that, you tactless dumbass?!"

"...Dead?" Rin mumbled, eyes wide. 

 It all seemed to hit Rin at once. All of the color in his face dropped entirely, and his eyes welled up with tears. His hand began to feel clammy and began to tremble, the glisten of cold sweat beginning to shine on his skin. His eyes, clouded with tears, were wide open as if he were watching someone rush towards him to deliver a final blow. His lips stretched into a frown as his mouth fell open, his chin trembling. Izumi only had a second to think "oh shit" before Rin let out a guttural, heart-stopping scream, his hands jumping to his face to clutch and tear at the skin of his cheeks. His eyes stared ahead unseeing as sobs punched through him, ripping through muscle, bone, and guts. His heart pounded erratically in his chest, and he fell onto Izumi, clasping onto his shoulder for support, for  _anything,_ and began to wail. Rin Okumura might have been physically sitting on a scorched, bloodstained wooden floor, but in his mind, he was somewhere else. Izumi didn't know what the hell this kid had witnessed, but it was nothing good, and for now, it didn't matter. What mattered was the kid (God, he was just a _kid)_ falling, _shattering_ into pieces in his arms. He hadn't seen Rin shed a single tear in years despite wearing a face that said he was suffering and didn't know if he could handle it much longer. Why had he ignored that face until now? If you had told him just yesterday that he'd be holding that same kid, the kid that got into fist fights every day and wore a stone-cold face every day, in his arms as he fell apart, he might've laughed in your face.

He sure as hell wasn't laughing now. 

* * *

 Rin eventually began to simmer down and laid despondent on Izumi's lap, head resting on his shoulder, face blank as he stared at the wall with glazed, unseeing eyes. The priests fussed in the background, calling the True Cross police force to get them to pick up Shiro's body, seeing as normal police would not react kindly to this. Nagatomo was down the hallway and could be heard yelling presumably at an Order official, reporting the untimely death of the Paladin. Izumi nearly jumped at the sudden feeling of a hand on his shoulder. 

"Izumi, why don't you get Rin and yourself cleaned up?" Kyodo suggested softly, eyeing Rin meaningfully. 

It was then that Izumi realized that Rin wasn't staring at the wall; he was staring at Shiro. 

"Y-Yeah, what about you...?"

Kyodo looked wearily down at Shiro and sighed. "I'll take care of this. Take care of the kid, man."

"Alright." Izumi nodded, wrapping his arms around Rin steadily. 

Now that he wasn't looking at Rin in the heat of all the...excitement, the kid wasn't looking that good. His back was all scuffed up and covered in dirt and blood, his whole right half (the side that had been on the ground next to Shiro) was caked in blood that most likely wasn't his, his hair was grayed by dust, and his skin had a load of soot dusted over it. Not to mention that tear tracks down his cheeks that Izumi didn't particularly want to think about.

"Okay, kiddo, let's get out of here." Izumi pointlessly said. 

Rin, being compliant for once in his life, ('don't think that, Izumi' he thought to himself indignantly) wrapped his legs around Izumi's midsection and clung to Izumi's shoulders tightly with his arms. Izumo hooked his wrists under Rin's thighs and eased himself up, walking slowly to the bathroom. Rin didn't so much as blink as Izumi set him down on the stool. Izumi stripped down unabashedly until he was as naked as the day he was born, and went to help Rin out of his clothes.  Rin at least attempted to help Izumi take off his own clothes, his hands shaking too much to really help much. However, when Izumi went to pull off Rin's boxers, his pale hand suddenly shot out and clutched Izumi's wrist in a vice grip. 

"Rin, we need to take off your boxers if I'm going to clean you up."

"...No."

Izumi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and opening his eyes really wide for a moment before closing them again. "And why not?"

"No."

"Rin, honey, that's not really an answer."

"No." 

Izumi stared at Rin real long and hard before shaking his head. "Screw it, fine, you can wear your boxers in the shower. Whatever, see if I care."

Rin's bottom lip wobbled slightly and he looked to the side, hair falling in front of his face. Izumi suddenly felt bad. Goddammit, who the hell did Izumi think he was, acting short with a child who just watching his father literally die? He had no right to be acting like such a dick; he had to be patient. He had to be the adult and stay calm; being impatient would do no good from Rin. 

"Jesus, Rin. Look, I'm sorry. It's just been a stressful night for, well, both of us no doubt. C'mere. I dunno why you won't take off your boxers, but do what you want to do." Izumi hooked his arms under Rin's armpits and lifted him like a ragdoll, placing him on his lap on the stool under the shower head.

Rin didn't reply and just leaned his head back on Izumi's shoulder, his right temple pressing just beneath Izumi's left cheek. Izumi twisted the knob, and after a god-awful squeak, warm water cascaded out of the shower head, running in rivulets down the side of his and Rin's face. A tail that certainly hadn't been attached to Rin earlier that day sat limply on the floor, the end flicking in an action of interest at the water that hit it. Other than that, it didn't move. Leaning over a bit, Izumi, knowing how sensitive demon tails generally were, gently scooped up the (silky, he noted) black tail, edging it towards the water to wash the dust and other gunk off of it. Despite the tail loosely wrapping around his hand, Rin himself didn't take kindly to having someone touch his tail. His eyes flew open wide and he gasped loudly, stiffening entirely as if he was only just realizing he had a tail in the first place and was horrified by it. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chill out kid, it's okay!" Izumi frantically soothed as Rin pressed his face into his neck, letting out a quiet sob. "I know, I know. It's weird right now, but it's alright. Look."

Rin furtively glanced at his own tail before hiding his face back in the crook of Izumi's neck, crying a little louder. Izumi bit his lip, ruffling Rin's hair, trying desperately to calm the boy down. He rocked back and forth slowly, rubbing a hand up and down Rin's wet back. 

"What's the matter?" Kyodo's voice sounded from the doorway, eyebrows creased and lips pulled down in a frown as he looked at Rin. 

"He's, uh, scared on his own tail," Izumi answered, stroking Rin's hair. 

"Why's he still in his boxers?" Kyodo asked, eyeing the soaked dark fabric with an eyebrow quirked. 

"He refused to take them off for whatever reason. I'm not gonna question it."  Izumi shrugged, squeezing Rin's shoulder, who was starting to calm down. 

Kyodo shook his head and barked a laugh. "Probably just body shy. Leave him be, I guess. I'll bring him some clothes for after your shower so he can just change in here."

"Thanks, man."

True to his word, Kyodo returned to the bathroom and left some pajamas for Rin to wear after his shower. Rin was back to being stoically silent, staring at the tiled wall. Vaguely, Izumi wondered what was so interesting about the starch white tiles and chuckled to himself. Rin's tail flicked in the water, splashing in the puddle on the ground. Rin didn't seem to pay any mind to it, but the tail needed to be cleaned anyway. 

"Hey, Rin? That, uh," Izumi gestured at the tail, and Rin glanced at it before turning away again, "I should probably clean it. It can't be comfortable to have all of the dust and grit in the, um, f-fur." 

"...Okay." Rin whispered, hugging his knees and pointedly not looking at his tail. 

Izumi squeezed Rin's shoulder and gently grabbed the tail for the second time. Rin tensed but didn't do anything else. Uncapping the shampoo bottle, Izumi lathered the extra appendage with gentle fingers, working into the fur, running his finger nails down the length. He was so focused on his task and not accidentally hurting Rin that he didn't even notice that Rin had basically turned into putty in his arms. It was only after he'd rinsed the shampoo off and had started gently massaging conditioner into the fur that he noticed an odd sound...a sound that sounded suspiciously like...purring!?

Oh, good God, Rin was purring. 

Pressing his lips into a thin line, Izumi resisted the urge to squeeze Rin really tight because  _fuck, this was so cute_. Rin didn't seem to notice that he was purring at all, only focused on the presumably wonderful feeling of someone treating his tail with such care. Tail clean, Izumi let the conditioner stay in Rin's tail for awhile and went to work on his and Rin's bodies. The purring died down until it was gone and Rin seemed to snap back into reality, looking a little confused but fairly content. He rinsed his own hair with shampoo and conditioner first, watching the dust trickle down the drain, before carding his fingers through Rin's hair, said boy leaning to the touch. He took the loofah and scrubbed Rin down fairly quick before working on himself, watching flecks of blood swirl away. Finally clean, Izumi leaned over and turned off the faucet, watching the last drops of water fall off of him and Rin. He lifted Rin and left him on the stool and he walked over to the towels, drying himself quickly before tending to Rin. He went to dry Rin off before Rin grabbed his hand. 

"I can do it. Go get dressed." He mumbled, taking the towel from Izumi. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, kid. I'll wait outside the door for you, call when you're ready to go back into your room." 

Rin nodded and began rubbing himself down as Izumi left the bathroom, closing the door. Izumi stumbled back to his room, slipping a little on his own feet while pointedly ignoring the Vatican officials who were scoping out the area....until he saw a couple in Rin and Yukio's-- just Rin's --room. 

"Hey, bugger out of there." He yelled at the people in there, one of which was leafing through Rin's manga. 

"Why?" One of the women asked haughtily. "You're interrupting an investigation."

"You're not going to find shit in there. That's just Rin's room." Izumi continued, annoyance icing his voice. 

"Rin?" The woman quirked a brow. "Who is Rin?"

"A kid. He's just 15 and he's had a rough night. Get out of his room so he can just go right to bed."

"I'm sure it wasn't rough enough for him to wait a couple of minutes while we look for evidence in here."

Izumi felt his gut light aflame and he narrowed his eyes as he snarled, "I don't know about you, but watching your father get possessed by Satan right in front of you is more than rough enough. Get the fuck out of here."

The woman seemed to take interest in this statement, straightening with pursed lips. "So, he witnessed this? I'd like to question him about what happened if you wouldn't mind."

"If you go anywhere near him and stress him out anymore right now, I swear to fucking god I'll--!" Izumi was suddenly pulled back by someone. 

"Miss Kizana, in all due respect, Rin's in a very fragile state of mind and anything you might get from him without sending him spiraling into a panic attack will be very vague and probably inaccurate. So, how about you be a decent person, and leave that kid alone so that he can relax after, undoubtedly, an incredibly stressful night?" Maruda asked, his voice sounding outwardly warm but iced with anger lying just beneath the surface.

This "Miss Kizana" seemed to take notice to this and went to snap back something that was sure to be incredibly rude before, presumably, one of her subordinates piped up.

"Kizana-san, please. He's right, and this is a child we're talking about. It can wait until the poor kid's in a more stable state of mind. He's sure to be hovering on the brinks of hysterics if he witnessed that."

Whoever this subordinate was, they were sure lucky that Kizana-san seemed to like them, because she seemed to calm down. 

"Very well. I suppose that you're right-- sweet Jesus, he looks awful." Kizana-san cut herself off, looking at someone just behind Izumi and Maruda. 

Whirling around, Izumi saw a fully-clothed Rin standing right there, swaying a little in place. Rin looked incredibly pale and his knees shook. His eyes were blood shot and his hair was a damp, unruly mess, and he looked terribly sickly. Izumi felt sympathy and concern wash over him, and his pulled Rin into a hug. 

"Kid, I told you to wait in the bathroom for me."

"I can walk myself." Rin rasped, voice cracking. 

"Izumi, go get dressed, I'll get him into bed." Maruda sighed, wrapping a burly arm around Rin's shoulder. The exorcists in Rin's room filed out quickly, one of the women sympathetically patting his head.

The exorcists in Rin's room filed out quickly, one of the women sympathetically patting his head. A couple of minutes later, Rin was tucked into bed, safe and warm, and Izumi walked into his room, sitting on Rin's bed. 

"Hey, kid." Izumi sighed, stroking Rin cheek softly. "Do you want to lay with me?"

Rin nodded slightly. That was all the confirmation Izumi needed. Slipping under the blankets, Izumo watched as Rin rolled over to face him. Izumi drew back in alarm at the sight of tears trickling down Rin's cheeks. Smile sympathetically, Izumi scooped Rin into his arms and held him close, gently raking his nails up and down Rin's back until Rin's short, uneven breaths morphed into long, deep ones. Izumi rubbed his face tired, huffing heavily. 

What a hell of a morning. 


End file.
